My mother once told me that trauma is like Lord of the Rings. You go through this crazy, life-altering thing that almost kills you (like say having to drop the one ring into Mount Doom), and that thing by definition cannot possibly be understood by someone who hasn’t gone through it. They can sympathize sure, but they’ll never really know, and more than likely they’ll expect you to move on from the thing fairly quickly. And they can’t be blamed, people are just like that, but that’s not how it works.
Some lucky people are like Sam. They can go straight home, get married, have a whole bunch of curly headed Hobbit babies and pick up their gardening right where they left off, content to forget the whole thing and live out their days in peace. Lots of people however, are like Frodo, and they don’t come home the same person they were when they left, and everything is more horrible and more hard then it ever was before. The old wounds sting and the ghost of the weight of the one ring still weighs heavy on their minds, and they don’t fit in at home anymore, so they get on boats go sailing away to the Undying West to look for the sort of peace that can only come from within. Frodos can’t cope, and most of us are Frodos when we start out.
But if we move past the urge to hide or lash out, my mother always told me, we can become Pippin and Merry. They never ignored what had happened to them, but they were malleable and receptive to change. They became civic leaders and great storytellers; they we able to turn all that fear and anger and grief into narratives that others could delight in and learn from, and they used the skills they had learned in battle to protect their homeland. They were fortified by what had happened to them, they wore it like armor and used it to their advantage.
It is our trauma that turns us into guardians, my mother told me, it is suffering that strengthens our skin and softens our hearts, and if we learn to live with the ghosts of what had been done to us, we just may be able to save others from the same fate.— S.T.Gibson (via sarahtaylorgibson)
one of those silly challenge things
Hey I was tagged in a challenge by a-study-in-lobo like ages ago and then never got around to doing this before now.
Rules: Describe every detail about yourself that you can think of in the next 10 minutes (holy doomtrumpet shit..) Alright, ready… set.. go:
1: I am currently waiting for nail polish to dry
2: That nail polish is pink by the way and I haven’t worn it for over 2 years because I really do not like the colour pink and only bought it for a Barbie Cosplay but then today I thought.. hell
3: I live in Denmark
4: I am on my third year of a bachelor’s degree in Business Communication and English (that’s business English as a second language)
5: Earlier this year I lived in Melbourne, Australia for 5 months
6: I totally miss Australia
7: I came out to my roomie less than a week ago, she took it really cool
8: I am currently reading “The Crossing” by Cormac McCarthy although I don’t get much time for reading due to my studies
9: I am also currently planning a trip to the Lake District to climb England’s highest mountain with my dad
10: Two years ago I lived in the Lake District for a couple of months
11: I miss that too, but I love the place where I live at the moment too
12: I am currently dieting and have lost 8 kilos over the last 2 months
13: I have been doing a dieting journal on a secret blog that I’m considering making public at some point tho it will be boring
14: I should probably be studying right now
16: Today I spent all day not being active
17: I spent the weekend working about 30 hours and looking after my parents’ cat
18: That cat is called Hector Augustus Kurt and he’s got short legs and big feet and when he closes his mouth his front teeth stick out
19: I haven’t grown since I was 14 but I also don’t know my own height due to my passport being inaccurate
20: My favourite colour is purple
21: I have to perform at a poetry slam in less than two weeks and I don’t have my poems ready yet because I’m having a writers block
22: I have a crush on Natalie Dormer, but then… who doesn’t?
23: The only encyclopaedia in our apartment is from 1954, I think I bought it used but I can’t remember when or where
24: My roomie and I have run out of printer ink and can’t afford to buy more so at the moment we type everything out on an old typewriter that we otherwise only have for decoration
25: My WiFi is called Charles because I always wanted to have a meaningful connection with a charming Englishman
26: I am more excited about the new season of Downton Abbey than I care to admit
27: That was all.